Best Mealtime Gift For Your Kids? Trust!
- Why trust builds the foundations to a happier relationship with food and mealtimes -
I have just returned from holiday in France where something happened that I wanted to share with you; not so I can be a Smug Sally (!), but to give others hope that happier family mealtimes ARE possible and it is worth the wait!
Having left it longer than we should have done to have lunch whilst out one day, we found ourselves in a small French village with just one restaurant and two starving kids. A place with a fixed menu and no sign of it catering for kids – eek! It was 4 set courses and to my absolute surprise, my 7 year-old twins actually gave the food a good old go and a relatively peaceful lunch ensued (minus the bickering and repeated requests to use ‘restaurant voices’, but you can’t have it all). It was a pivotal moment in my kids’ food journey and I couldn’t have been prouder. All the advice I had received from a child dietitian we saw in the early days had really paid off.
It made me reflect on how we had managed to get to this significant moment in their lives where our kids were happy to try new food and I’ve tried to summarise below:
The Foundation To All Mealtimes
For those of you that follow me, you’ll hopefully know by now that my approach to mealtimes is based on letting my kids be in charge of the ‘how much’ and ‘what’ they choose to eat from their plate. The parent’s job is to provide the ‘what’ (food) and ‘when’ and that is it. This is the foundation to ALL mealtimes and this is not just my opinion, it is the approach of all feeding professionals I have come across. Mealtimes are not always easy but because my approach is the same each time (‘I provide, they decide’) I stay calm. Mealtimes are never failures; they are par for the course!
Don’t Predict The Future
It would have been easy not to go to this type of restaurant. To turn around to my husband and whisper, ‘They won’t like it here!’ and find something more kid-friendly. It is easy to stop offering your child new food for fear they won’t like it or not serving something they rejected last week. It sounds obvious but there is more chance of your child trying something new if it is on their plate than in the fridge!
Your child doesn’t need to eat the new food offered to view it as a ‘win’ either – it’s all about regular exposure at this stage, so there is nothing (literally nothing) to lose.
Be Zen!
Have self-belief that you will get there when you get there and there is no rush. It is not a race to build variety into our kids’ diets or keep up with what your kids’ friends are eating; just stay in your lane and keep going. Remember your role (you provide the food and when, and your child decides how much they wish to eat and what) and be as chilled as you can be. The more we show our anxieties and worries around food, the more this will be passed on to them. If you need to let it all out, join my private group here!
Hunger As A Motivator
Don’t underestimate the power of having your children come to the table hungry!
I was advised to offer a small snack in between lunch and dinner, preferably no later than 2 hours before mealtimes so children get used to knowing what it feels like to feel hungry or full rather than continuously asking for food and being ‘topped up’ all day. We are a nation of snackers though (guilty as charged) and it’s a question I think we all get asked several times a day by our kids! Snacks weren’t as available on holiday with us being more out and about and I noticed a difference in their willingness to try new food for sure.
Lower Expectations
Let’s remind ourselves that learning to like new food is like any other process of development (such as potty training or walking), and by thinking this way, we may start to lower our expectations and think more long-term and get less frustrated by one particular meal. Keep offering new food over and over with no judgment.
I do feel that because we wandered into this restaurant with no expectations on whether our kids would eat a thing (I knew there was always the bread basket!), it set a neutral tone for the lunch and no pressure was felt by any of us (adults included!) to eat anything we didn’t want to.
Play the long game
If you have a dud meal (and who doesn’t), write it off and move onto the next one, hey - there are certainly plenty of them! It is worth reminding ourselves that there is normally a snack or meal later on in the day and this is what often stop parents being experimental when they forget this. But if you do how my kids’ dietician suggested and offer familiar food with unfamiliar, you can’t go far wrong.
How are you feeling about mealtimes right now? Motivated or lost? Does this post help in any way?
